How the Holidays Can Make Some Children Stressed and Anxious - and How to Help
Although the holiday season can be a great time for children to make memories and have fun with family, it can also be stressful for other young people who have anxiety, ADHD, or sensory challenges.
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Some children can become overwhelmed by the added pressures that are associated with the holidays. So, Understood has put together a list of eight common ways in which children can become stressed out or anxious during the holidays and how to help.
The list includes:
Dressing Up - Sensory processing challenges can cause problems for children who are sensitive to touch; therefore, dressing up in clothes they wouldn’t normally wear that feature textures to which they are unaccustomed can cause anxiety. To help, give a child a choice between two acceptable outfits, remove itchy tags, and bring a change of everyday clothes to switch out as soon as possible.
Seeing Santa - Meeting Santa Claus can be overwhelming for children with learning and thinking differences; plus, those with language difficulties may worry about telling Santa what they want. To help, ask the child if they want to go - and if they say “no,” respect that; also, practice with them what to tell Santa in advance and consider letting Santa know if the child gets nervous around strangers.
Gift Getting - Children can be disappointed if they don’t get the gift they wanted, and anxious children might worry about hurting someone’s feelings if they don’t hide their disappointment. To help, talk in advance about the importance of acknowledging the thought behind a gift and rehearse appreciative responses.
Holiday Foods - Children with picky palates or sensory challenges might find the flavors, smells, or textures of certain holiday foods hard to deal with; they might also be hesitant to try new things and become anxious if pressured to do so. To help, show a child how to take “thank-you” bites during a meal; after a small taste, they can say whether they want more - but also bring along food that the child likes.
Parties and Holiday Gatherings - Social situations can be especially difficult for some children who are afraid to meet new people or speak to relatives they haven’t seen in a long time. To help, give a child a graceful out: If the party is local and you can find a sitter, it’s OK for the child to miss the gathering; if you’re traveling and this is not possible, find an out-of-the-way spot from which the child can watch the gathering or ask the host if there’s a room where they can hang out.
Small Talk - Some children with learning or thinking differences might be uncomfortable talking about school or struggle with conversation skills when being asked typical questions during chitchat. To help, role-play social interactions with the child and help them to come up with answers to common questions while practicing how to engage in conversation; teach them polite ways to change topics, such as asking questions of the other person, and agree on a signal if they need an adult to jump in.
Performances or Recitals - School holiday performances can cause children to feel anxious, especially if they have to learn lines and dance moves or adjust to changes in routines. To help, talk with the child’s school about expectations for the performance and ask how to help the child prepare at home; work together to create a game plan for the child to discreetly leave the stage if it’s too overwhelming.
Naughty or Nice - Children likely hear a lot about whether they are being “naughty or nice” and those who think literally may not understand that they’re not really being watched. To help, consider letting them in on the secret; helping out with Elf on the Shelf antics can make them feel grown up, while reading fables and fairy tales together provides the opportunity to discuss how some books exaggerate to express a message.
For more information on the eight scenarios, read Understood’s article.