Podcast Discusses How Boredom Can Provide Children with Valuable Skills
The words “I’m bored” often lead caregivers scrambling to come up with a solution to help fill the void or find something for children to do.
But this restless feeling isn’t a problem that needs to be fixed, according to the latest Thriving Kids podcast episode, but rather a means by which many valuable skills that involve critical thinking, self-direction, and independence get built.
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In the Thriving Kids episode, Dave Anderson, PhD, senior psychologist and vice president of public engagement and education for the Child Mind Institute, joins Aliza Pressman, PhD, a developmental psychologist, associate clinical professor at the Icahn School of Medicine and Mount Sinai, co-founding director of The Mount Sinai Parenting Center, and host of the “Raising Good Humans” podcast, to discuss why boredom is important for children’s growth.
The podcast’s discussion touches on gentle parenting, including common misconceptions about the term and the benefits of an evidence-based approach called authoritative parenting. It also focuses on ways to manage screen time and the quiet value of boredom.
Suggested Strategies
When children learn to sit with unstructured time, this is a skill - not a sign that something is wrong. Some of the expert-backed strategies to help children work through the discomfort of being bored include:
Build the boredom menu before the boredom hits: During a calm moment, sit down with your child and make a list of things they like to do, mixing your ideas with theirs. Keep it varied and low-effort. For younger children, a picture chart might work better.
Point them to the menu: When the complaint arrives, steer them back to their own menu. You can give them a choice between items on the menu, but the goal is for them to decide, not you.
Notice when “I’m bored” actually means “notice me”: If a child rejects every option you offer, boredom might not be the real issue: They could be angling for your attention. Rather than getting pulled into a negotiation over activities, give them a short window to make a decision and let them know that if they don’t, you’ll choose for them.
Let the project flop: Half the value of an open afternoon is the thing that doesn’t work. Rather than smoothing it over, ask what worked, what didn’t, and what they’d try next time. This is how boredom builds frustration tolerance and the willingness to try again.
Change your own script: For caregivers, “I’m bored” often translates as a request for rescue, and anxiety can lead them to fill the gap with a screen or one more scheduled activity. Instead, treat it as an opening: Tell children, “I can’t wait to see what you come up with.” When boredom stops coming across as an emergency to a caregiver, it stops seeming like one to a child.
To learn more, listen to the latest Thriving Kids podcast episode.